A year ago this blog took off full speed. The inspiration and dream to pursue a career in writing was reborn and ever since then I've had this calming feeling that everything is going to be alright. However, recently I've been overcome with fear. What once seemed like a near future that would never come has turned into a reality in clear view.
Ever since we were toddlers we're asked what we want to be when we grow up- it inspires us, stirs our imagination and creates dreams we grow from. But now the question isn't what I want to be when I grow up- it's what are you doing in 4 months? Fortunately this newly installed fear was evicted late last night while I was stumbling (a fabulous online distraction if you are ever looking for one...) An image appeared- simple, no tag to some flashy website, that revealed painted words on a city street...
"Replace the fear of the unknown with curiosity"
I was reminded that fear is only in our minds and it's up to us to shape and construct our lives. Fear can't be a reason to not get up in the morning. I'll be honest I'm fearful of a lot right now- not just moving across the country and starting a new chapter of life but of almost everything. But that can't be a way to live. I'd rather say I'm curious about everything- I want to explore all the exciting, upcoming life changes and not have this dark, fear cloud hovering.
It's something so simple. I'm constantly reminded by myself, inspirational quotes, my family and friends that life is what you make it. So I'm making my life a discovery filled with curiosity. No fear- just wonder.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
So This Is The New Year
Yes just like everyone else I cannot believe it's 2010- we're in a new decade, it's January and we just completed the first week out of 52. However, before forecasting this new year, I suppose it's standard to reflect on the past...
2009 was nothing short of being absolutely fabulous. A year ago I was packing my bag (yes I took one) for Semester At Sea and crazy enough it feels like yesterday. I remember every step of the way and would do anything to go back and live it again. Fortunately the magic didn't end when I disembarked in May- I spent a month at home trying to fathom the experience and then began my amazing summer at camp. Of course that feels like yesterday too- maybe it's because I still talk to my camp friends as if they're just a cabin away and because we make such efforts to see each other. Fall brought my senior year of college and a glance at the 'real world' that is coming soon. Winter brought many blasts from the pasts that reminded me of this journey I've started and how blessed I am to have my support group always at the stern.
And so now, present day, I'm trying to take it all in. I keep telling people I must sound old because time is going by so fast and my perception of time in alternating. I don't want to be one of those people that dwell in the past- that's always talking about how great it was and that "seriously it feels like yesterday." I keep having these moments and I keep saying that phrase but honestly because I don't know what else to say.
Many of my friends are freaking out about graduating- normal for anyone in our current stage. I'm trying to just breathe because I've realized this is something you can't fight. It will happen and the future will be great. That's about the only thing I'm 100% positive of.
I'm such a planner so naturally I have a small, faint road map of the year. I plan on having the most amazing, adventurous, spontaneous, fun last semester of college. Everything from soaking in all of Boulder's wonder to attending every session of class because at this point, I plan on these last 4 months to be it forever. (Which obviously is a scary thought since school is all I've known since... forever). I plan on spending May in Boulder then driving east and leaving the flatirons behind, working at camp and saving every penny so that in the first/second week of September... I can move to New York City. Honestly at this point, my map ends and that's how I want it. I'd rather leave that image in my head untouched.
It's going to be an exciting year filled with happiness, growth and I suppose everything in between. I sort of see all my years like that- I couldn't ever imagine saying a whole year sucked and needing a new one for a fresh start. Rather I reflect and without a doubt the positive moments are what shine. That's why I know that everything is going to be okay. The universe is going to unfold just as it should. May this faith and belief somehow calm your thoughts for the new year.
2009 was nothing short of being absolutely fabulous. A year ago I was packing my bag (yes I took one) for Semester At Sea and crazy enough it feels like yesterday. I remember every step of the way and would do anything to go back and live it again. Fortunately the magic didn't end when I disembarked in May- I spent a month at home trying to fathom the experience and then began my amazing summer at camp. Of course that feels like yesterday too- maybe it's because I still talk to my camp friends as if they're just a cabin away and because we make such efforts to see each other. Fall brought my senior year of college and a glance at the 'real world' that is coming soon. Winter brought many blasts from the pasts that reminded me of this journey I've started and how blessed I am to have my support group always at the stern.
And so now, present day, I'm trying to take it all in. I keep telling people I must sound old because time is going by so fast and my perception of time in alternating. I don't want to be one of those people that dwell in the past- that's always talking about how great it was and that "seriously it feels like yesterday." I keep having these moments and I keep saying that phrase but honestly because I don't know what else to say.
Many of my friends are freaking out about graduating- normal for anyone in our current stage. I'm trying to just breathe because I've realized this is something you can't fight. It will happen and the future will be great. That's about the only thing I'm 100% positive of.
I'm such a planner so naturally I have a small, faint road map of the year. I plan on having the most amazing, adventurous, spontaneous, fun last semester of college. Everything from soaking in all of Boulder's wonder to attending every session of class because at this point, I plan on these last 4 months to be it forever. (Which obviously is a scary thought since school is all I've known since... forever). I plan on spending May in Boulder then driving east and leaving the flatirons behind, working at camp and saving every penny so that in the first/second week of September... I can move to New York City. Honestly at this point, my map ends and that's how I want it. I'd rather leave that image in my head untouched.
It's going to be an exciting year filled with happiness, growth and I suppose everything in between. I sort of see all my years like that- I couldn't ever imagine saying a whole year sucked and needing a new one for a fresh start. Rather I reflect and without a doubt the positive moments are what shine. That's why I know that everything is going to be okay. The universe is going to unfold just as it should. May this faith and belief somehow calm your thoughts for the new year.
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