Why I Really Love Christmas

I wonder how I ever got so lucky. How did I get such an amazing family, fabulous friends, and a life that I wouldn't trade for anything. I guess you never realize it till you're older or till you can take a step back and see the bigger picture.

I grew up thinking all families ate together every night at the kitchen table- we needed a good excuse to miss dinner and honestly you didn't want to- it was the one time where we all joined and told funny stories of the day and enjoyed each others company. The meals were predictable with spaghetti and red juice on Monday, chicken and cheese enchiladas on Wednesday and now that those days are gone I wish I could go back and make sure I never missed a meal or a moment.

I forget that when I leave and go off to my life in Boulder or soon around the world, my family and everyone else continues to live around me (how naive/selfish does that sound...) but there are little things that pop up at home that remind me I wasn't here. Like Silas getting in a fender-bender after Keeley's concert- something so small, small enough that there was no damage and so I was never told but still a moment in Silas' life I wasn't here to experience. Or my dad's birthday for the last 3 years. My parent's wedding anniversary. Keeley's CD release party. Sarah's graduation from Dominican. Taylor's ultra-marathon runs. The list continues and I know that while all these amazing, wonderful things are happening for them I'm off living my magical life in Boulder. But it hurts to know you can't have it all- that I can't be here for those special events or spontaneous moments.

So I wonder how I ever even got to know these people- these characters I am so fortunate to call family and friends. Each of them is something different and something vital. One of the things I love the most is that we can still sit around that same kitchen table. Even though there are no more chicken enchiladas (I'm still the only vegetarian but you just wait) and no daily updates, we can pull up a chair and laugh over Christmas cookies, good wine, or apple cider. We still write our schedules on the white board (who is sleeping in what room, who wants to sleep in, who wants to run 10 miles in the morning) and for just this moment of the year, we are all included.

I love Christmas for millions of reasons- for the way the air smells, the music, the colors and lights but mainly because my family comes together. There are no excuses, no exceptions and no other place we'd rather be cuddled up right here at home.

A New Path

I'm such a list person. I have my things to do today, tomorrow, by the new year, in my lifetime and I find comfort in the organization and the structure. I don't even care if I don't follow the order but I like knowing they are written- a path to follow.

Today, during our CLW inspirational/motivating/encouraging speaker's life story, I found myself questioning the path I thought I planned so long ago. Most people know that I want to be an event planner. I want to create moments remembered for a lifetime, let my clients enjoy their day without worry and chaos. I have always loved planning and organizing and I think I would do an amazing job.

But today, sitting in Hale Sciences, I began to wonder if I really want to be an event planner. Do I say that just because it's comforting? Just because it's a plan? Just because I don't want to say I don't have a plan? On my list, I am an event planner and to steer away from that is a dangerous road. It makes me nervous. I have to get a job right out of college- I have to enter the career force. The pressure, the realizations, it's what I have to actually do and it's creeping up.

I'm tempted to look at jobs online- I don't even know what else is out there. What could someone be with a Communication degree? What would I do after college? Where would I live? The possibilities are endless and beyond scary. But I think recognizing this is the first step. Maybe I don't need a strict life plan- maybe I just need to start walking and see where I end up.

Just no one ask me what I want to do after college.