Sometimes I Get A Good Feeling

And just like that, we're heading into the final stretch of the year. December is a sweet reminder that we save the best for last. December is the most wonderful time of the year filled with blessings, happiness, magic and joy as we forget our troubles and wrap our bodies and minds in the glorious holiday season.

The holiday season, of course, begins with Thanksgiving and an annual short but always fabulous trip home. My 4 days in California were filled to the brim and left nothing but a sweet taste in my heart and soul. Surrounded by good people and good times, I was able to see old friends, best friends, high school kids, Valentinos, Rossis and Buckleys from far and near while spending countless hours in the hot tub soaking in the family gossip. My first Thanksgiving with actual turkey (in 6 years) along with the dreadful 3 hour time difference, left me exhausted each night as a I sank into California dreams stowed in my childhood bedroom.

Each visit home, I find my relationships altering and growing in the most fascinating of ways. With my parents, it continues to blossom into some magical and near utopian. They're my best friends, we're equals, we share secrets and advice, we laugh, we cry, we're honest and even take our stress on the world out on each other (not always a good thing but we grow from this too). At the end of the day, I have nothing but pure love and respect for them and aspire to be even an ounce of a person that they are. The inspiration from family continues on to my incredible siblings. From married life to college life, running miles and creating miracles, these individuals continue to be my heroes. Filled with a determination to succeed and blinded by any of life's challenges, these fellows take life head on and greet each day with endless laughter. Thousands of miles away, it's hard to believe I am anything like them but I hope some of their wonder and sparkle trails to the east.

It is, of course, always hard to leave the sunny, golden state. SFO, so sterile and concrete, is hard to arrive at and turn my back on my roots. Somehow, though, every time, I get back on that plane. I head east to this life I've created and I greet it with a smile. Passenger pick-up always awaits the love of my life (how spoiled am I that boyfriend always gets me!!!) and Boston, without hesitation or question, opens her arms yet again.

As we head into this final chapter of the year, I am reminded of the magic and wonder this season provides. Family, friends, cheer and bliss, there are so many things to be thankful for. Eagerly I await our trip to NYC for Christmas in full swing, holiday parties and Yankee swaps, another lovely holiday with boyfriend's family and did I mention it's been in the 60's and actually, dare I say, warmer than California? However, the snow can fall whenever it pleases as I will stay warm in the comfort of this euphoric celebration.

(Some dolls at our Family Turkey Trot! 5k/10k aka shredding machines)

Delightful Obsessions

Technically I think the term, state or feeling of obsess, obsessed or obsession contains quite the negative connotation. Its notorious definition seems to be an undesired emotion filled with sinful behavior. Well, sorry to all the dictionary sites I googled, but I am currently obsessed with all fully desired emotions and thoughts that lack nothing but fabulousness.

My current sinless obsessions... shall begin with the golden fall that has spread across Boston like warm butter on gluten-free bread seeping into New England's pores. I am struck by the beauty as I take my morning walks to the train and often stop to snap pictures for I fear the masterpiece could blow away over night. Thanks for the life changing app Instagram (special little shout out to Kevin & Nicole) I have taken some of the most magical and breathing photos of my life. Filled with crisply bright leaves that you can almost hear crinkle as the camera pulls in its deepest shades. Sunrises that bleed purple and form a orange lush halo over the city as I ride the T across the Charles. I probably look like a tourist but I am simply obsessed.

Although I am fully aware this blissful season and radiant colors will soon disappear, I am obsessed with the season and magic that follows. November 1st kicked off the Starbucks red holiday cups (but I totally got a sneak peek because that's what you get when you go every single day and make besties with the baristas...) and that was simply the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year. I'd like to say I wait until Thanksgiving before I bust out the jingles but ever since I started living where it snows, I changed my holiday routine. Whatever comes first- snow or November- the jingles shall commence. That being said, after a Halloween snow dusting, I am obsessed with Michael Buble's Christmas album and suddenly the world is just that much better. Soon to come are snowmen and mistletoe, snowflakes and wreaths and the warming of hearts as we ride into Christmas night.

We're going out of order... but I'm obsessed with the fact that in just TWO weeks I'll be in California with the entire fam and the besties that are too far for comfort. I can smell the turkey, roasted veggies and pumpkin pie from my little Boston apartment and I can fear the 8am Turkey Trot that dreadfully follows the infamous Novato High reunion at the local bars but there is nothing that will stop be from making it back and indulging in every moment. Even though the pictures I order from the wedding just arrived today, July seems forever ago and I need my dose of California and all her wonder.

My final current obsession... One Tree Hill. I used to watch the show with my college roomie Erika (who BTW is engaged!!!) and then we stopped watching when the drama was so intense I actually had dreams about the characters... but Netflix has all the episodes so really what's a girl gonna do. I need to see what happens to Peyton, Lucas, Nathan and Haliey! And let me tell you (I'm on season 7 so really I've just been plowing through) I love being taken away to this imaginary place where my problems cease to exist and I swear Nathan looks like Kevin. (Oh side note- this might be one of those bad obsessions the websites were telling me about...)

So there we have it- I am living in obsession. From the colors, to the sounds, the feelings and the future, they're all positively overwhelming sensations that wrap me warm at night. May I keep my positive vibes high as the temperature drops below satisfaction and the vanilla twilight covers my delicious fall world. But until then, another round of soy pumpkin spiced lattes on me.

A Fearless Fall

Far too often fear gets the best of us. When tested by our biggest concerns or worries, the excuses come easier and self-compromises seem fairer. I think it truly takes someone to, in the kindest way, put you in your place and knock your fears right into your lap. No more hiding, no more excuses and no more fear.

I like to wear the fearless mask but underneath it all I have been ridiculously, childishly afraid of my future. Dare I admit that I like to talk the talk but as I glance at my past, I don’t see the walk. I see the talk and it’s time to back it up. (Yes I shall be my toughest critic).

Today, as I pitied myself and made the casual yet common complaint that I am currently “stuck” in my job, I was ever so graciously knocked out of a fantasy and dropped into reality. The realist revealed, "You only feel stuck because there is no one to tell you how to un-stick yourself.” She continued, "You have to carve your own opportunities and build and independently create yourself." There I sat- knocked off my fantasy wagon and thrown into reality. Honestly, in this career path, I have been waiting for someone to come along and tell me what to do. Tell me what job to apply for, what opportunity to grab and what chances to take. I was too afraid to ask questions about what my future could be and too afraid (and maybe lazy?) to test the waters myself and see what really is out there. Little did I know that all my answers would stem from questions I've been too afraid to ask.

We're on a self made time frame. Our big move is set for March/April and I saw this as a waiting period. A time for me to just sit and wait for someone or something to jump out and offer me that dream. Wrong!!! This time frame is now my chance to build myself up, learn as much as possible and create this portfolio so that my path is filled with experience and examples of pure determination. I thought the desire to succeed was enough but I need to personally put myself into drive. And so I'm ready.

Where does fear play into all of this? Fear was the reason I was waiting. Who wants to stick their neck out and have it chopped off and severed by the big bad boss? Who wants to give it their all and in the end only get a lesson and not a job offer? What I forgot, in the mist of all this fear, is that sometimes when the least expected happens and it's forseen as bad- it might not really be bad. A wise man (or woman because really this quote is anonymous to me) once said, "Barn burnt down, now I can see the moon" and I truly believe the foreseen bad can have good consequences. So here I go- what ever happens shall happen and I'll learn everything I can. I'll learn from mistakes and grow and develop them into something more. With my fearless mask off, I'm actually able to see and for the first time things are appearing with insane clarity.

Young Grasshopper Reflects

Oh August, what a rush.

It seems we returned from the golden state and things quickly, yet naturally, began to take shape. With moving boxes stacked up against the wall, Joanna and I spent our final days giggling and reminiscing our journey throughout the year. The apartment grew bare as Jo set off to Colorado to return to her Rocky Mountains and I began to prepare myself for domestic living. Boxes and bedsprings were loaded into the UHaul as Kev and I made one, small perrywrinkle room into a home. Saying goodbye to my apartment wasn't as hard as imagined but rather a big leap forward. Of course, when we got to Kevin's and there were boxes upon boxes, I had a small panic but it's a relief to know we are nearly all unpacked and as Kev works on being cleaner and making the bed, I am working on relaxing and not being such a neat freak. (Oh so these are those moments where you realize you're actually in a big girl relationship)...

The domestic living is simply nothing short of magic. Everything seems easier, less stressful. I live with my best friend who also happens to be my boyfriend, we live in a hip side of town filled with delicious foods and activities and my commute to work is a much shorter T ride and yet a relaxing 20 minute walk in the morning. We have easily adapted to each other's space and need for personal time (we are both currently blogging next to each other yet I doubt he knows I'm writing about him) and when we no longer want to be independent, I reach out my hand and he's there. For the bad days and the good, he's there- to talk it out, listen and side with me even when I'm wrong. For the first time, in maybe shall I say ever, I really, truly do not feel alone.

Besides this sappy love story... things have been pretty smooth sailing. My Boston copilot and favorite older brother moved back west but I've decided it's okay to be the only Valentino this side of the Mississippi. Oh yes, and speaking of sailing, we actually got to go back on the MV Explorer (the ship I sailed around the world on for SAS) and spend an evening on board the ship of dreams! It docked in the Boston harbor and so we dressed in our finest and headed back to the place I once was so fortunate to call home. As we entered gangway deck 5, the same smells rushed throughout and every memory came flooding back. I could barely handle myself as we stormed the decks and I told Kev endless stories as we sipped on wine and dined on deck 6 by the pool. Sadly, just like the voyage, our night ended but I will forever be blessed to have step foot on that magical vessel again.

Work is... attempting to progress. I can't even find the words because there are few words that describe the situation but I am somewhere between real interviews and coffee dates and cold interviews and performance reviews. Confused? Me too but I've been told to be patient and so that's what I tell myself everyday. Just be patient and the universe will unfold.

So as August wraps up and the weather calms down (I mean come on a hurricane??), I am nesting in my new pad and awaiting life. Still stomping the financial district, Starbucks in hand and chasing the unknown dream but enjoying the ride. When the words filter out, my safe haven, this blog, will, of course, be the first to know. But until then, Godspeed in whatever journey you rest in and at the end of the day, just breathe and smile. And, of course, rinse and repeat as necessary.

California Dreaming

You can take the girl out of California but you can't take the California out of the girl. (And that's Northern California for this girl). My trip home was perfect in every way. Never a dull moment, accomplished everything on our to do list and more, soaked in sunny rays, devoured delicious food and celebrated the joining of love at the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to.

Our first two days were simple and sweet. Pool side and tanning, afternoon walks, fro-yo, late night movies and home cooked meals, welcomed us east coasters to the laid back west coast style. Before we knew it, it was the day before the big day and the rehearsal dinner set up called for our creative skills. Transformed into blends of red and off white, the BBQ dinner was filled with giddy hosts, gleaming guests and multiple pairs of southern cowboy boots. Toasts of laughter, good cheer, faith and love, warmed the evening as sun set on the Marin hillside.

The ever so magical day finally arrived! Unfortunately, I spent the morning rushing between my sister's houses because my dress for the wedding had not arrived. Shall I quickly backtrack? Me- the beyond organized, always makes a list and never forgets anything girl was so excited and anxious to get home that I left my beautiful peach summer dress in my far, far away Boston closet. Overnight shipping promised a 3pm delivery but as luck would have it, they lost my dress and all I could do was breathe. (That and raid everyone's closet). As the afternoon heated up and the house began to rise for the occasion, a post office miracle delivered my precious cargo and the show went on. First stop, of course, family pitchers of the perfect margaritas before taking our ever so classic perfectly imperfect family pictures. (Word jumble huh?) In our best attire and relaxed stages, we gathered in the most picturesque park under the most divine and powerful eucalyptus trees as my sister, the most beautiful, calm, radiant bride joined her groom in holy matrimony. With only one tear drop escaping, vows were exchanged and our family and friends witnessed the purest example of love. And then it was time to celebrate. Farther down the road and deeper into the sun, we dined on fine wine, took many trips to the photobooth and danced until the very last song rang throughout the courtyard. High on life and good fortune, those tears of extreme happiness and thankfulness filled my eyes as the magical event began to simmer.

As if that wasn't enough to satisfy our vacation... we woke up minimal hours later and headed back to the place that started it all- Mountain Camp. With my little brother working as a counselor, we used any excuse to return to the mountain, visit friends and absorb as much of Lake Tahoe's beauty as possible. A warm welcome threw me right back into the routine and as we lay out at the lake with the sailboats fleeting, I remembered all the reasons I love it there and yet all the reasons we didn't return this summer. Sunburned and smiling, we headed down the mountain and into South Lake Tahoe for a luxurious night at MontBleu and a quick night of gambling. Luck was quite the lady for Kevin, as he walked away a high roller, and I walked away in the hole and angry with the dealer. Before we knew it, the sun was up and it was time to head back to Marin in time for a very special 30th birthday party. Another wonderful, yummy BBQ with gluten free cake and our new favorite drink 'Dirty Gingers' (okay really they are 'Big Gingers' but we changed the name). Yet another family outing where I am forever thankful and blessed to call these people my friends let alone family.

As my final California sun set, I was yet again filled with that pull. East coast or west and how do I have both? When to move back to California and will it work for both of us? Why am I so far away when everything feels right here? What is it about the east coast that continues to call my soul? These are not new questions and these are not questions that actually have answers. Before stressing out and putting a damper on this fabulous week, a wise man reminded me just to roll with it. For this moment, I am an east coast resident. I forever have my west coast roots and they shall never be severed. The west coast isn't going anywhere and she'll be waiting, arms wide open when we do return. For now, I have so much potential in Boston and so many exciting things to come my way. I know I have to go back and better yet I know I want to go back. And until my next visit, (duh Thanksgiving tickets already purchased) I have hundreds of photos to keep me laughing and in high spirits after this crazy, fun filled, love fest of a vacation.

Sweet Summer Disposition

I am knee deep in my first New England Summer. It's blazing hot, humidity sticks and frizzes my hair, everywhere inside is air conditioned but the drastic change in temperatures causes goose bumps and chills and it's so warm and still at night one can barely sleep. Even though this sounds absolutely miserable, the summer is actually okay. The adjustment of this being my first "working" summer as in there is no transition between work and vacation and it's just as it was before and yet the season has changed, was clearly difficult. I found myself longing for Mountain Camp, longing for summer vacation and longing for what used to be. Fortunately my mindset has yet again changed and I'm yet again grateful for where I currently am and wouldn't take any steps backwards.

We have filled our summer, thus far, with pool sides, long days at the beach, escapes to the Cape, late night BBQs, lots of frozen yogurt and spending every moment we can outside. My golden tan and glow is worth the melting, sweltering heat. And somewhere between sunshine and seashores, K and I celebrated our one year anniversary! A place in my life I never thought I'd be, with a boy I never thought I deserved, we looked back on this first year and enjoyed a night of harbor side seafood and music-less dancing in the park.

The change in seasons and change in weather has made this first year in Boston come full circle. Crazy to think back how cold it was, how the city was constantly covered in a down comforter of snow and sunshine seemed nearly impossible. But like all good things, the wait is worth it and so we devour each day (and secretly hope winter never comes again).

So, of course, I am and have always been a planner so there are always things cooking in my agenda. I wade in the present and absorb each moment but I get such a high out of planning my future and watching it unravel. The immediate future is somewhat expected- we are off to Vermont next weekend for friendly reunions and K's comedy show and then our highly anticipated visit to California is just 17 days away. The return to the west coast is just what I have been craving and just what I am needing. With a recent diagnosis of homesickness, I need California and all her glory to recharge my soul.

Upon our return to Boston, K and I are moving in together (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and our next chapter begins. We have future chapters planned- some in the near future and some off the map but for the first time I'm making all these plans with someone besides myself. And it's crazy because they are real plans and somehow these real/adult/big girl plans are not scaring me. As we plan for a move in 9 months (location to be revealed later but you can probably guess where...) I am thrilled and beyond excited to start making these steps together. Individually I am still making moves and plans to move up in my career- little acts of magic have already begun and the dreams are becoming more clear and attainable. Whatever happens, I'll be sharing the details. For better or worse.

Keep The Change

Am I just now beginning to understand that life is all about adapting and transforming into a myriad of changes that come your way? Maybe... and if I look at it this way then bring it on.With everything changing from seasons to living spaces to my hair color, it seems that the only way to survive is to set your sails and take a deep breath. Oh and maybe grab a lifevest.

As for my monthly flashback and reflection, things have been amazing, fortunately like always. My birthday was the best one yet filled with friends and brunch, gluten free cake and beach themed presents, the Blue Man Group rave and dance party, flowers and surprises and a bittersweet reminder that, in fact, I am getting older. As the temperatures began to rise into the 80's, Kev and I headed south to New York City- the center of the universe (or so RENT claims). My favorite NYC trip yet included English futbol, exploring a barge that is now a bar on the Chelsea Pier, all day BBQ in Brooklyn, comedy shows in Queens and, of course, we hit up Serendipity, Dylan's Candy Shop and Dash (however, no Kardashians were in sight). The long weekend was greatly enjoyed as was the 4 day work week.

This past weekend was jam packed with my first visit to the Gillette stadium (where the Pats play) and we saw the USA v. Spain soccer game. For someone who once was taught to chant, "we ain't playing no soccer!!" I seem to be making this sport my new interest. Brazil 2014 anyone? As if Saturday wasn't filled with my intake of thousands of people and fans, my girl friends and I put on our cowboy boots and headed to the Comcast Cast Center for the Jason Aldean and Eric Church concert. Afternoon BBQ, big trucks, fast cars and freedom, it was quite the sight to see. Dancing all night and soaking in the first concert of the summer left me with a little twang and thirsty for more.

Now this all leads to the changes and the things learned thus far. The highlights worth noting: sometimes having difficult conversations ease the pain and clear up any messy situation. I believe The Fray once said, "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." Corny but true. Number 2- food allergies lead to deficiencies and deficiencies lead to unhealthy lifestyles. That being said, I've started to eat chicken again and am actually enjoying it. (I can actually hear Lexi cheer from California). And my final thoughts- the sun is finally setting in, work is calming over and things that once seemed hectic now are routine and the daily countdown to CA is almost acceptable to begin. Taking it one day at a time and learning to love each of these warm summer days. So I'll keep the change- it keeps me on my toes and makes life just a little more interesting.

We're Gonna Come Together, We're Gonna Celebrate

"To deny one's age is to deny you've survived." I stumbled upon this quote during my morning ritual of coffee and blogging before hurrying off to another busy day at work. Days later, I've analyzed it, digested it and figured it was the perfect opportunity to look at this past year of ultimate survival.

As I get ready to embark on another year of life, I'm sad to say goodbye to number 22 as it's my lucky number and really the age so sweetly rolls off the tongue. 23 sounds odd, static and still. When I first heard the for-mentioned quote, I decided I would just do 22 again and catch up next year with 24. But wait, is that not how it works?

Besides 22 being my lucky, ever so fabulous sounding year, it will be a big chapter to close and thus the reflecting begins. A year ago I was still living in Boulder- sitting on the porch, soaking in the summer rays, banana popsicles and midnight swing rides consumed my days. I was getting ready to leave my college stomping ground and head off into the real world. The birthday was magical- just refer to the post about it... and as the blog shows the following months of camp, moving, different jobs, different feelings and finally finding a pace of life that works. If only it had been that easy- if only I could have had an advance look at my own blog and known that really it would be okay. But hell the journey has been well worth it and I'd do it all again (but maybe with a cuter winter coat?)

So here I am- a survivor of another year, the first year and yet have so many more bumps to hit. However, I don't want smooth sailing because where's the fun in that? The happy middle is focusing on the present. Presently I am sitting in my bed, reruns of Gossip Girl whispers in the background, the newest edition of US Weekly rests on my night side table along with fresh pink and orange sunflowers that just had to be purchased today. After a fabulous, much needed weekend in Rhode Island, I gave myself a much needed me day and indulged in stress free shopping, gluten free granola and ok fine I bought gluten free but not meat free hot dogs... dabbled in trash tv at the gym and made endless skype calls to people far from this Boston rain. This selfish behavior might continue throughout the week as Kev is currently "working" in Vegas but hey it's my party and I can cry if I want to (clearly tears of happiness).

After much reflection and letting go of my stubborn ways, 23 will be welcomed and no denial is made. Who knows what this next year will bring- I'll be moving in with that very special someone and moving up in my crazy yet wonderful job. This year is more unknown but recently the unknown steps have become my favorite. For someone who was once a planner, I've taken a big liking for the mystery and unplanned road. They'll be east coast roads, that I am sure, but everything in between shall be patiently awaited.

Father of the Bostonian

April has been filled with showers and no promises for May flowers, northeast roadtrips, birthdays, marathons, a much needed visitor from California and a collection of deep breaths that somehow has turned into a healthy habit.

Someone once told me that when you always complain about the weather you have truly become a northeastern. Well, if the shoe fits and this shoe is a rainboot and snowboot that is craving a sandal. At work, we talk about the weather five hundred times a day and somewhere between those mindless conversations I've just accepted that it's cold, it will always be cold and that is the end of that.

In attempt to escape the weather, we headed to Portland, Maine to explore an area I've only seen postcards of and celebrate 25 years of Kev's life. The weather was warmer than expected and the town cuter than imagined. Filled with lighthouses, seafood, cobblestone roads and a love for the local mentality, the getaway was much needed and much appreciated. We ate delicious scallops and shrimp (oh yes I'm a pescatarian now...) and found a wonderful gluten free cafe for Sunday brunch. With full bellies and another state marked off on my bucket list, we headed back to Boston just in time to meet my brother, my one day sister-in-law and a family friend visiting from New York. As the sun set on another magical weekend, we sipped margs and laughed of our Novato days. A sweet reminder that the past is never erased even when you move far from it.

As the week continued, I had one thing on my mind- my best friend, my hero, my own George Banks was on his way to Boston. After celebrating Kev's actual birthday with silly presents and a typical trip to our favorite bookstore, my dad flew into Logan as I skipped all the way down the terminal to meet him. Sunday was filled with meeting families and friends over scrumptious cuisine and strolling the streets while thousands others joined who had flown in for Marathon Monday. The North End was packed as runners craved their carbs and I just craved for more time. Monday brought sunshine, my first sunburn of the season and the whole day with my dad. Granted we were cheering on Taylor (who flew like a Kenyan and finished with 3:11) I can't remember the last time it was just us. Our simple conversations were filled with meaning and memories. There were no doubts in life, just happiness and ease. As I've gotten older, we've become even better friends and somehow, even though we are miles apart, there is no one that knows me like he does.

Like all things, the weekend ended, the celebrations ceased and my pops returned to the Golden State. Luckily he got to peek into work and see where I spend my time. Even though I call him my friend there still is part of me that will always seek his approval of my life and decisions. Showing him this- showing him everything I've created for myself out here just made it more complete and more real. It also made me wish we could do a weekend brunch every weekend but I suppose skype will suffice for now.

So those deep breaths I was talking about- those sighs that remind me that everything is going to be okay- they occur much more often. They're almost natural. I'm no longer blindly searching for something but I think I've found my niche. I've got my routine but I'm ready for a little detour if it shows up. My days quickly pass with my favorite co-workers who really are just friends that work in the same company as me and I'm still cooking even though I discovered I'm allergic to basically every food group out there. In this journey, I don't know where exactly I am but I'm moving. And the progression is all that counts- it's the process not the destination that builds character. And these speed bumps are actually needed- someone once said time is only necessary so that everything doesn't happen at once. It's all happening and I'll take the good, the bad, the ugly and the magic. The beauty, the rise, the fall and everything in between.

Weekend Getaways & Getting What You Want

Ending my weekend on an actually-looking-forward-to-the-week magical mood and decided that's when updates seem the most fresh and real.

We spent the weekend in Burlington, Vermont- my third visit to the Green Mountain State since I began my east coast residency. 48 hours of belly-hurting laughter, delicious food, farmers markets and unbelievably good squash pickles, surprising sunshine, mountain camp reunions with my favorite waterfront staff and a blissful reminder that change is not always a bad thing.

Prior to the weekend getaway, I had a wonderful week at work (a pattern that keeps occurring and can stay). I am, dare I say, really good at my job. Talks of moving up have been whispered but I am keeping my feet firm in the teller line (for now). My coworkers and management team continue to make the day sail through and so far I've actually looked forward to each day. Between quoting Mean Girls, discussing March Madness (my bracket is dead after this weekend...) and planning our weekends together, I have to remind myself it's work- I'm getting paid. Does it get much better?

As for my honest update on post grad progress, I'd like to say I am in the final round. With May creeping upon us and the one year mark of college (cause then I'm not a post grad right?), I have begun to see the steps made and the path I took to get here. In this mess of moving and starting over, breakdowns became the new black and I was extremely fashionable (does the metaphor even work?) But as I listened to a recent friend describe her crash and rise in the post college market, I realized these breakdowns are our tickets to the breakthrough. Each breakdown, each time has brought me here- a place I'm comfortable in and ready to tackle any future derails. They're coming but we're ready.

As for my concluding reflections... Returning to Vermont always includes seeing Kevin's college friends- all of whom have graciously accepted me without question into their ever so tightly knit group of friends. After rounds of "the question game", cans of cheap consumption and a family style Italian meal, smaller conversations of more serious manner began to arise. The future, the next step seemed to be the hot topic. A town that once served a college purpose, quickly became home for these Vermonters but after 3 years of post grad living, the next step is coming into view. It seems everyone is eager to pack up and start the next portion of life. No one is afraid and no one is worried about the friendships that have lasted 7 years. It's exciting to hear their dreams and plans and know that no matter where they are, they'll always have each other. As cheesy as I have just become, it's touching and the solid truth. I moved away and have been blessed to have kept in contact with my core friends. Whether they're back in California both Northern and Southern, sailing around the globe, rising in Chicago sales, dominating in Texas or dreaming of their future steps, we've managed to keep the bonds strong.

I'm constantly reminded that distance means nothing and does not erase what once was. We're just all moving along together and more weekends, like this one, will occur and remind us, as the ever so inspiring and always quotable Carrie Bradshaw once said, "It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if you're very lucky, only a plane ride away".

Journey to Spring

If the Boston winter season was the Dipsea race, we'd be heading into Cardiac. For all you non-Marin-ites, that means the end is near, you've hit that moment you've waited for and finally a downhill, a relief and a sweet reminder of why you're doing this whole thing. But oh wait, before we get to the beach, the warm weather and the blissful payoff, there's one more climb. There's one more snowfall and one more bitter month of cold. But you keep reminding yourself that it's coming to an end and suddenly the whole process doesn't seem so bad. Hell, you'd do it again and because you've toughened it out, you're stronger and you're gonna appreciate that summer glow, wave crashing, green grass between your barefoot toes more than ever.

Shall I continue the race metaphor...
Let's just take note of this journey. I am knee deep in my new job and loving it. I actually enjoy getting up early and taking the T to the financial district, storming the streets in my black heels, high waisted skirt and matching jacket and Starbucks Americano in hand. Strides of pride lead me into the Bank of America headquarters for the better half of my day. Hours of standing and correcting my posture leaves me feeling restless and used by the end of the day but... I like it. I have never felt so accomplished and yes I'm at the bottom and yes I have a lot to learn but I'm so intrigued and so eager to keep moving. My favorite cliche has never applied more- endless opportunities. Who would have thought I'd enter the banking world and not only like it but strive to learn more about it. I can only go up and it's going to be an amazing ride.

Besides this teasing spring weather, Boston is finally, dare I say, becoming my home. Celtics games, awaiting Red Sox season and yes I slipped and said 'wicked' the other day but it's finally somewhere I'm calling my own. A feeling so desperately craved and finally beginning to achieve.

Now that my life has naturally smoothed through all the chaos, I'm able to ponder the future and not stress into oblivion. I am able to start planning weekend summer trips (yay Texas!!!) and start acting like a big girl. I am actually making this little thing called a budget and sticking to it. I am years, decades, ok lifetimes slash never am I going to... severe my ties with the west but I'm making footprints out east. This real world thing is much easier when taken day by day but for now, for this current day, I'm doing the best I can and I suppose that's enough.

Growth Spurt

Rather than explaining where I've been, let's just jump into my favorite form of blogging digestion: bullet points.

- The first month of the new year has come and gone. Filled with my best friend's visit for new years, a new job, a trip to California to celebrate 100 fabulous years of Great Grandma Vi's life and a new reality slash look on my personal life. Where to begin... I decided to job hunt in the beginning of December- bless the preschool and all its generosity but it was not the right fit. I have no desire to enter early education and within 2 months, I felt that I had hit the ceiling and there was no room for growth. Making no money and a horrible commute, I took the first step forward. By January 3rd, I had an offer for a tour management job that seemed like a perfect fit. I left the school and went out on the limb only to be fooled and disappointed. What seemed like a fabulous job leading to a new career, ended up being a nonprofessional scheme that I had fallen into. Fortunately my detective skills spotted the red flags and I backed out as soon as possible. Leaving left me feeling proud of my decision, confident in myself but also predictably unemployed.

- Round two of unemployed has been very different than 4 months ago. This time around I'm holding my head high, I take caution with Craigslist (and highly advise against it), I am filled with faith that it will all work out and I am monitoring my finances like a real champ. My life is much more grounded and the chaos and worry that overwhelmed me last time simply does not exist. These past 2 weeks I have been clearly job hunting but also dabbling in personal favorites like writing, working out, watching trash TV, reading books that have sat on my shelf for months and spending snow days wrapped up with Kevin and his family playing board games and lying in the copious amounts of snow that are doomed to never go away. Rather than sit around and worry about life, I feel like I'm out there living it. I've taken up a new interest in cooking- I actually found a recipe in a magazine and made it! This is a huge step for me seeing as I usually heat up frozen veggies, add BBQ sauce and call it a day. You can see my tasty, so simple yet so delightful creation below- egg whites with tomato and onion served in a pleated, whole wheat tortilla. Topped off with the much needed Cholula.

- So all in all this year is still wonderful and I am glowing from this personal growth. I have always preached this behavior but for the first time I am doing it myself. For the first time, I'm completely confident in my decision to live in Boston. I no longer question why I'm here or if I should escape to California even though that's the easier road. I feel very strong about my last job interview- it would be a great stepping stone, a manageable commute and somewhere I could continue to grow. And if I don't get it- I'm not worried. There are opportunities arising everyday and the right one will come along in due time.

- In final thoughts, as mentioned a year ago, Valentine's Day is my 2nd favorite holiday. A day dedicated to love, conversation hearts, red and pink sparkles and, of course, my baby brother's birthday. A day so special I'll save it for another post.