With the new addiction to tumblr, my thoughts seem to come in visual or list form. So why stop now...
* I am loving my new job at the preschool. Things that were difficult to get used to: up by 7:30 am every day and not home till after 6pm, the hour long commute both ways, the unreliability of public transportation, the frustration in trying to explain why a nine is shaped like "9" and is not the same at the letter "q" and working 5 days a week while still trying to have a social life. But I am getting through it all by finding the romance in it- seeing the beauty in the commute, the same people, the rituals, the brisk morning walks, the accomplishing feeling when I return home, the magic of following a schedule and laughing at nearly everything my students say (like calling me Miss Dylan...)
* I am still exploring and finding the glory in Boston. Kevin and I went to Cape Cod, I still spend a few hours of the weekend at the Boston Public Library (my commute allows for free reading!) and I actually know my way around. Whether it's the green line, the grocery store or the cobble streets, I am beginning to look like I belong here and even get stopped for directions.
* Since these are confessions it seems natural to reveal some of the not so bright highlights of this new life I am leading. I'll just go out and say it- living 3,000 miles away from CA, having your best friends in all different states and time zones, missing your old life yet knowing you belong in the new one and trying to put on a smile is the hardest thing I've had to do. At times I have felt like a complete failure. I have broken down and wanted to run backwards, I have stalked my friends' pictures on facebook of their current college days and for the first time in a long time I felt completely and utterly lost. With the help of my parents, siblings, friends and boyfriend, I came into the light and am again learning to take it one day at a time. I guess I knew it would be hard but not this hard. It even took me awhile to seek help, to even talk about my current situation because really who wants to talk about feeling lost and depressed?
* As always, there is a bright side! I have taken steps out of the dark shadows and am currently exhaling and loving this life. Yes I miss the past but I know this is where I belong. Yes I have no money and every day brings the new question of what to do about it but I have a job and I am trying (and I have become a better cook!!!!). I miss my friends but I am making new ones here (whether they are Kevin's, dear long lost sorority sisters or random people I meet on the T, I have literally never been this friendly in my life (except when I was rushing Theta...).
* More bright sides (because you can never really have enough). I am going home to CA for Thanksgiving and the school was beyond generous and said do whatever it takes to get the cheapest flight- family comes first. I am spending Christmas with Kevin's family!! For a holiday seasonal mini vacation, we are going to NYC for ice skating in Central Park (yes like my all time favorite movie Serendipity) and seeing the Christmas tree in hopes that Kevin McCallister is still there and home alone. We're spending NYE 2011 in NYC (I used to dream of this when Carson Daily still was on MTV) and finally in January, Kevin will return home with me for my Great Grandma Vi's 100th Birthday!!
* So yes life has ups and downs and plateaus and does flips and sometimes this little life rollercoaster metaphor can get stuck but in the end, the ride is always, always worth it.
