These Dreams Don't Sleep When It's Cold Outside

Semester at sea is so close I can actually smell the oceanfront. Maybe it's cause I have officially started packing or been taking those damn typhoid pills for a six days or because suddenly I can say I leave this weekend.

I always knew I wanted to go abroad. Thanks to my fabulous Rossi grandparents, I developed my traveling addiction very early in life. Sailing throughout the Mediterranean at 15, I discovered a new layer of myself- I was filled with confidence, adventure, and the desire to explore beyond horizons. The travels continued as I became very stubborn about going to school out of state, headed to Kenya twice in high school, and tried to always have a future destination stirring inside. Studying abroad just seemed like a natural part of my college journey.

I thought about studying in Italy, Spain, even Holland but as I heard more stories from abroad students, I was always fascinated by the SAS voyagers. Their experiences were the ones I admired and had pictured in my mind. I knew that semester at sea was the program for me.

Since being accepted in July, SAS has been a rather highly discussed subject in my household. We can't really get through a dinner conversation without the topic popping up or a family gathering without someone questioning my journey. Unfortunately it hasn't been the happiest of conversations (mostly because it's costing me a large fortune to go) and my dad hates traveling so he really has never said a positive thing about my trip (or my cruise as he likes to call it). But I honestly don't care. This experience has nothing to do with my parents or their opinions of why I'm going. Merilee doesn't get it either but she knows this is something I've wanted to do for as long as she can remember. She knows that my dedication clearly has shown the value I've placed on SAS. This voyage, this embarking on a new chapter of my life- is actually about me.

I'm feeling about every emotion possible at this point. The pictures online, the idea of living at sea, getting those last minute items at Target have all released so many endorphins I think the happiness and joy is spilling out of my soul. But the moments of saying goodbye have left me in acute sadness and nervousness. The idea of not being able to just call my dad on my walk home from class or sending Keeley a text about the mimes roaming Boulder or IMing someone who lives down the hall or even meeting a friend late at night to curl up and watch a movie- the these simple interactions have thus defined so many of my relationships are forced to be put on hold. "Traveling is an addiction and it is very difficult to maintain and sustain relationships when you are obsessed with going away" (Wild Writing Women: Stories of World Travel)

It's so true. I'm addicted to that escaping experience and feeling the world at your fingertips but I'm also dangerously addicted to my family and friends around me. I know I will be okay and I know that what lies ahead is only full of more magical moments and relationships to enhance my life.

And so here I go. With a fully loaded backpack, a fresh passport with blank pages to fill, 43 malaria pills, my journal and a few pictures of the people I leave behind (but oh how do I wish they could come along), I embark on my next journey.